Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Do I feel comfortable with myself?

That's the question that I have been asking myself lately.

Well, I never bother much about my weight and else, at least not like I used to when I was in senior high and my early years in the university. Maturity and experiences have changed the way I see myself a lot. Having some nice close friends around me has also brought possitive effect on me. It's good to be able to see everything I have in me, both physically and mentally, in a more positive way. It has helped me greatly in building my self-confidence.

I've gained some weight these past 3 months. I wasn't really aware of it, not until some weeks ago. Some people I know, whom I haven't seen much lately, told me that I looked fatter than before. My response was only a big smile and a little laugh. I told them that I had been eating much and my appetite had been good.

Well, I've actually realized it since 1.5 or 2 months ago. I've felt that I don't fit my old jeans and skirts anymore. I have to admit that this unfitted stuff has bothered me a bit. Well, it's not about the extra fat I have in almost every part of body. What I've put into my consideration is that I don't wanna buy new pants for a few reasons. First, buying new pants means wasting my money as I've been in a pretty tight budget these past few months, so I'm not thinking of doing it. Second, my old pants are still in a good condition, so why buy new ones?

My mother always tells me that young women should look fresh and healthy. For her, skinny women look ugly because they look older than their real age. In this case, I agree with her. I don't wanna be skinny either, for it makes me look less beautiful :p hehehehe. My close friends, especially my best friend, Carla, always says that women should have curves, and these curves are formed by the fat they have in some parts of their bodies. I'm really of the same opinion. Women should have fat in their belly, for that makes them look like 'real women'. It's just too bad that so many women get too obsessed with 'flatness'. Women should be soft (the good kind of softness), not hard, for that what differs them from men.

I don't wanna join the "obsessed" crowd. Why should I? I'm not a model and don't wanna be any. What I want is to make myself comfortable and happy. I still wanna keep some fat here and there, especially in the right places *wink* hehehe...

So, do I feel comfortable with myself?
I think I feel quite comfortable. I should make myself comfortable, for there are a lot more important things to be my concerns..other than this getting fat issue.

Yeah right! The key is making ourselves comfortable. Why should bother much with the buzz around you, telling that you're fat and chubby. Bah!

However, I'm thinking of reducing my weight, maybe about 2 kg, just to fit my old pants and to make me more energetic. Perhaps, I'll just control my recent snacking habit (I've found this a hard-to-hold temptation) and try to exercise more. I haven't exercised at all recently, I mean real exercise like jogging on Sunday morning or doing some aerobics in a gym.

So, wish me luck!



Carla said...

hehehe.... glad you got my message!!! :D
a little fat rocks!!!

RinAku said...

La.... Hahaha...ya, I got "it" ! I'm glad that I'm not really into weight thing anymore. Why should waste time for it. I know that I've gained some extra fat here and there and do wanna lose a few kilograms, but I don't wanna make it hard on myself. Everything takes time and process, and the most important thing is "willingness".

Hahahaha.....that last point is something I've found hard to keep recently.

Anyway, I've read your blog, good that you're back to believing what you used to believe.

imoet said...

I do feel comfortable with myself. But still...if someone I love have certain complaints, naturally I will do my best to make him more comfortable with my body.

say I don't have self confidence, lover's opinion will give deep impact

RinAku said...

Well hi Sher,

Thanks for commenting. Well, everybody may have different opinion and different way of viewing this fat issue.

There's nothing wrong with taking our lover's complaint into consideration. However, for me it shouldn't be something that bother me too much. Even if I'm thinking of losing some weight, the idea should come from myself. I will never do things merely to satisfy men's lust, for I don't think they will ever be satisfied.


Carla said...

yeah well, Shierly dear,
you're bone skinny! Remember the pics of you I took the other day and how Veve and I thought that it looked like a child pornography when I tried to take the pic from behind?!
You MUST put on weight!

Antonio said...

You look fabulous to me. Skinny is out. Natural soft curves are IN.

RinAku said...

^__^ Well antonio, thank you. Glad that you have the same opinion! :D