Saturday, March 26, 2005

Back to Desperado

Finally, back to Desperado again! :-)

It's my favourite club in Surabaya. Well, the place isn't big, but it's cozy enough and not super crowded. I hate a super duper crowded place, for there usually is no space for dancing and no enough air to breathe. Another thing I like about this club is they've got some comfey sofa to sit on. Whenever my friends and I go there, we mostly choose the sofa, which is placed on the left side of the room. I kinda like the setting of chairs, tables, bar, the stage, and the interior there. It always feels good to sit back and watch the band playing some of my favourite songs.

It's been a long time since I last went out for clubbing, which was on New Year's eve in Bali. I've been very tied to work that I don't feel like going out to any club out here. So, it's a great feeling to go back there again tonight, though there were only my best friend, Carla, and me going. It reminds me of our old times .

Clubbing is one of my favourite activities to release stress. Well, I don't do it often as don't claim myself as a big clubber. I like doing it and usually enjoy it much each time I go to any club out here, but I don't do it frequently. It's like only once in a month or sometimes once in 2 months. Two biggest parts of clubbing I so much enjoy are the live performance of the band, especially if the band is really good, and the chance to dance as much as I want to.

Tonight was different with my previous clubbing nights. I didn't dance at all (first time ever), while in fact I do love dancing. Carla and I just sat on our high chairs, drank, had some chat, and enjoyed the music. Anyway, we both ordered the same drink, a glass of gin tonic. The band performing this month is called "Scarlip", a Canadian band. The lead vocalists, a male and a female, have good voice and nice performance on stage. They are playing till March 26th, that means till next Saturday.

Well, actually, I wanted to dance a little, but Carla didn't feel like to. So, I just forgot the idea of going to the dance floor and moved my body following the songs being played. I didn't feel like dancing alone, though Carla oferred me to just go and dance if I really wanted to. She said that perhaps I would get a dance partner as there were some guys dancing on the dance floor, but I wasn't in the mood of dancing with any guy. Thus, I decided to stay at my seat and just enjoyed the music while having a chat with Carla about her new cool spontaneous "indo" (Dutch+Indonesian) guy. She was really excited in telling me about how things have been more intense between them. I'm happy for her. It's just too bad that I couldn't share her the same excitement from my love story.

While were having a nice chat, one of the waiters came over our table to ask if we had any song request. At first we just looked at each other, waiting till one of us came up with an idea. My mind was blank. So, I just let Carla think and she finally came up with "Destiny's Child". She asked me the tittle of DC's new song, but I failed to remember it. I tried to think hard while knocking at my finger-nails on the table. I finally got it. It's "Lose My Breath". A very nice song that makes you shake your booty :). Then, Carla added another song from U2, "Kingstown" or something, I'm not sure. As the waiter hold the request card in his hand, he directly walked towards the stage and handed it to the male vocalist instead of moving to the other tables.

Soon after the blond vocalist read our request, he smiled a little, and then had a few words with the other vocalist. I didn't know what they were talking about, but both of them laughed not lond after their little chat. Carla and I smiled as we saw them preparing themselves. We giggled as we made a bet. We both were almost sure that they would skip the "lose my breath" and only sing U2's song. In fact we both were wrong !

Okay, we've got a request from Carla and Rina. So, this is your song....

Hahahahahaha.....they sang it. Lose my Breath. Hahahaha.....we couldn't hold our laugh. Cool !
They did sing our request. I can say that they sang it pretty well. I smiled as I saw them singing the song. Their stage performance was good too, I mean their stage dance, especially the male vocalist. He's really energetic. They made it to make some people move their hips and shake some booties on the dance floor.

As the night went old, more people got out of the club and left only some staying inside, including both of us, to wait until the band sang their last song and I finished my drink. At around 1 a.m. we decided to move to a spot near the dance floor... just to get clearer view of the band members and the people dancing in front of us.

And there was this sexy woman in sexy white outfit dancing right in front of us. I can't say that she's beautiful, but I like her hair style. A cool hairstyle. I'm not really sure, but I think she's one of the hookers who usually hang out at Desperados. She was pretty drunk, but she was still be able to control herself. Carla and I talked about her cool hairstyle and how her sexy clothes really fit her. I told Carla that she's cool and didn't look that 'cheap', at least not as cheap as the other hookers there.

It was around 1: 45 a.m. My glass was already empty. We decided to go home then. And now, here I am, in my room, blogging about how great it is to be back to Desperados again.

Okay, it's time for beddy. Gouda Nite and "Ciao"! ^__^

Monday, March 21, 2005

New Hair, Creambath, and Pain I look nicer?

Ummm....I think so. Or, do I just look different instead of nicer? Well, whatever! I like it and feel pretty comfortable with it. Those what count :)

So, I've got a new hair style. Well, it still has the same length, it's just the style that makes me look rather different. I had it cut 3 days ago, on Saturday afternoon to be precise. Actually, I didn't plan to have any hair cut when I went to see my hair-dresser. My first plan was only to have a hair creambath as it's been a long time since I last had it. It was like 6 or 8 months ago. I had neglected my hair treatment for long, so I just thought it was time to give a little attention. Besides, the idea of having my head, shoulders, and arms massaged was really tempting.

I hadn't been feeling well since morning and had a headache, so I thought having a creambath would make me better and release me from the pain in my head and back. At the first 45 minutes, I really felt relaxed. The salon's staff put some hair vitamins on my hair while massaging my head slowly. I really enjoyed it that I almost fell asleep. I then started to feel that the pain in my head was going away.

After about 1 hour, she moved to my shoulders and back. I felt even better when she did some work on those parts. Once in a while she stopped to spread some massage lotion on her palms. She then moved to my arms and hands. When she reached those parts, for the first few minutes I felt okay, but then as minute by minute passed by , I started to feel uncomfortable because she put too much power on massaging me. When I was about to tell her to do it lighter she suddenly reduced her power. I felt okay again then.

Having done with my hands and shoulders, she asked me to move to another chair for a hair steam. So, there I was sitting on a chair with a hair steamer on my head. The steam treatment took about 20 minutes. After that, she put the machine away and gave me more massage on my head. It took almost 2.5 hours to finally finish the main parts of creambathing. Then, my hair was washed, and she splashed some hair tonic on my hair-scalp afterwards. The next step was hair-drying. While my hair was being dried by the salon's staff, my hair-dresser, who happens to be the owner of the salon looked at me, asked me if I wanted a hair-cut. I said I didn't as I wasn't planning for any hair-cut. But then, he offered me a free hair-cut. I was suprised that he offered me that. Well, he's my aunt's friend, so I shouldn't be surprised. But in fact, I did. My aunt, who was also there to have her hair highlighted, suggested me to take the offer. I then reluctantly answered "yes".

It took him only like 5 or 10 minutes to cut my hair with a special knife. I always like watching him in action with all the tools in his hands. When he finished, he looked at my image in the mirror in front of me to make sure he had done everything well. Then, he did a little some trimming here and there. He checked his work in the mirror again, and then smiled. That's the sign the he's satisfied with his work. He said I would look nice with my new hair. I smiled back at him and and told him I liked my new style. I don't know what the name is, for I'm not really into hair-styles, but I like it.

Since he was kind enough to offer me a free hair-cut, I decided to pay for it and the creambath too. I know that I should have felt okay with the free service, but I just couldn't feel that way. So, I just told him that I would pay all and I insisted to do so. He finally agreed.

I felt great with my new hair, but as I reached home, I started to feel some pain in my head. It grew stronger minute by minute. I then decided to go to my room and laid my head on my pillow as I couldn't take the pain anymore. I missed my dinner because of it.

When I woke up, I directly jumped out of my bed and looked at my watch. Darn! It was already 9:15 pm. I had an appoinment with Carla to go to Desperado. I promised her that I would be ready around 9:30 p.m. as she would pick me up then. Luckily, things went okay and we made it to go there.

The next day, on Sunday morning, I felt my body hurt, especially on my shoulders, arms, and hands. I had to cancel my private teaching because of that. I then tried to get more rest by lying in my bed. After thinking for some minutes, I figured it out that it must be the "too powerful" massage I had on Saturday.

I still felt the pain this morning when I was at work, but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. What a massage! What a pain!

I still like creambath time, though. Hehehe.... *wink*

Thursday, March 17, 2005


Phew! What a tiring day.

Things went pretty well today, though I yawned many times at the office. Well, in fact it wasn't only me who felt sleepy. I noticed some of my friends at work yawned even more than me. Glad to know that I wasn't alone :-P hehehe...

Despite my sleepiness, I felt a bit relaxed this morning as I didn't have to deal with 4 classes in a row and running here and there, moving from Senior High School to Kindergarten unit, then to Elementary, and finally to Junior High School unit. It's the first day of School's Easter holiday. So happy that I can give my voice a break. :-)

I spent my time at work checking my students' quizzes, a very thick pile of quizzes. *overwhelmed* It has made me crazy to see that thick pile these past few weeks, for I haven't had much time to spare for checking and correcting due to my unbelievable tight schedule. Well, I love the teaching much and do enjoy it, but whenever it comes to those "2C" work.... *aarrrgggghhhh* Checking and correcting the writing quizzes of 11 classes ( 10 are high school) often make me dizzy. I wish I had a machine which did all the "2C" for me. *wink*

While doing my "2C" things, I had a nice chat with my co-workers. We commented on a news we just read in the newspaper, talked about women's stuffs, shared stories about our bad experiences with men and how annoying they could be, and laughed about silly things we did in the past. It's just good to be able to get together again like we used to when our teaching schedule wasn't this crazy.

There are only 7 full-timers including me, all females. My 6 co-workers are really funny, crazy, considerate, nice, and helpful. Well, maybe I'm not describing them my best as there are still more to say, both good and bad, but I like these 6 super women I work with. It's good to find out new side of them each time we get together. It makes us closer each day.

For me, they are one of a few reasons that makes me keep this job after my big love for teaching and my students. Well, the amount of money I get plays an important part, but it's not the biggest thing. The people I work with certainly hold a bigger role in making me stay in the company. Why should working with a bunch of people who can't get along with me and make me stressed, no matter how big my salary is.

So, here are a few lines about my co-workers:
1. They make me laugh when I can't even smile.
2. They drive me home when nobody picks me up at work.
3. They accompany me buying our fav drink at our fav cafe in front of school.

4. They know what to do in difficult situation.
5. They can be loud if they have to.
6. They bother me with unimportant things.
7. They make jokes on some naughty things ^__+
8. They share me their food and drinks when I don't have any. (hehehehe)
9. They are........themselves.

I luv them.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Books & Reading


I love them so much. Well, I believe there are so many people out there who love them as much as I do, or maybe even more. Everyone must have their particular kind of books that they like though. I don't know what others' favourites are, but I surely love novels and comics much. Well, I actually like many kinds of books, including magazines and newspaper. But if someone put a science book, a psychology book, a magazine, and a comic book in front of me and asked me to choose one, I would surely pick the last one without thinking twice.


It's one thing I can't ever live without. I always spend some hours a day for reading. For some people reading is a boring thing to do, but for me it's as important as eating and drinking. I'm not sure when I first liked it, maybe I've loved it since I was in elementary school. When I remember back then, I used to buy so many books, especially story books, with the pocket money I got from my father. The ones that I first fell in love with were H.C. Anderson's stories ( a German author, I guess. I'm not really sure about his nationality). After some years, when I was in grade 5, I started to buy a different kind of book. It was Japanese comic book.

I've fallen in love with it since the first time I laid my eyes on "candy - candy". I was really interested with the drawing on its cover. For me, a 10-year-old girl, the drawing was really good. Well anyway, candy-candy was a series comic book. When it was released for the first time here, I didn't buy any of the series at all, for they were pretty expensive. So, I just borrowed them from my friend. I loved the comic even more after reading the first book. There were 9 all, if I'm not mistaken. Candy, Anthony, and Terry are the main characters I remember the most until now.

Up to now, I still love them a lot. I even have quite a collection of Japanese comic books in my room. What I always admire is the drawing, which is really COOL ! I sometimes wish that the characters I read in those comics were real and I could date one of them. Hehehe....I know it's silly, but it's good to fantasize about it once in a while.

Besides comics, I also have quite a big collection of novels, especially harlequin's. I first read them when I was in my first year in university. I've loved them since then. Anyway, I have actually started to read novels since I was in junior high school. I read Maria A. Sarjono's, Mira W., Marga T., Danielle Steele, Sidney Sheldon, Enid Bylton, and a few others (the first 3 are Indonesian writers). I always borrowed them from the school library. It's like I came there three times a week that the librarian knew me quite well and always told me whenever there was a new book coming out.

Now I have some favourite writers, such as Sandra Brown, Nicholas Spark, and Norah Robert. I think they are really good writers. *bow*

For me reading is really entertaining. It really makes me relax. That's why I don't really like to read a sad ending story. Once I read, I feel like I'm taking part in it. I laugh when it comes to the funny part and cry when it comes to the sad and hurtful part. I can really be into the story, if it's really a good one, that I won't even care about things happening around me. I remember when my grandma was still alive, she was sometimes angry that she had to call me loudly like 3 or 4 times when I was enjoying my reading. My sister is often upset too, for I always ignore her whenever she tries to tell me or ask me something whenever I read my favourite comic books or novels. Hahahahaha..pretty annoying, eh?

Reading has helped me a lot in reducing my stress. If I have to pick between watching movie and reading, I will directly pick reading. Without doubt! There are actually so many things that I can get from reading books, like learning about other countries' culture, different kind of people's characteristics, places around the world, other people's experiences, and many more.

The people around me are often surprised on how much I spend my money on novels and comic books every month. I can stand living without new clothes for 6 months, but without books? It's ridiculous.

One of my biggest dreams is to have my own library at home. It will be great to see all collections of my novels, comic books, teaching books, story books, student's reading books, and other kinds of books that I have on a big glass book-shelf. WoW !!!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Dream Job

Hmmm, I believe some people must have their own dream jobs, while some others don't.

I claim myself as one who belongs to the second group. Well, If I recall, it's hard to remember whether I really had one particular job that I eagerly dreamt of when I was a child. One day, someone asked me what I wanted to be someday when I was in elementary school, and I said I wanted to be a stewardess because I wanted to travel around the world and wore nice uniform. While at another time, when someone asked me the same question, I gave him or her a different answer. So, I never had any particular dream job.

Later, when I was in senior high, I got the same question and answered that I didn't know what I would be someday, but I wanted a job that would give me a good living and made me happy. Since then, I gave the same answer to anyone asking me such question.

So, here I am now, a teacher, working for an institution that provides language-education service, particularly English, to private schools. It never popped into my head that I would ever be a teacher someday, even when I was still studying at the English Department of a famous private university out here. Well, I did some teaching job, but only privately, as a private lesson teacher. I took that job simply because it was the best choice for a student of teacher's training faculty, for most private English teachers at that time earned good money. Well, we still do.

I imagined I would be working in a big company, perhaps an international one, as a secretary or an office staff, after I graduated from university. However, as people always say that people change. Doing private teaching has brought me to another teaching work in a language institution, in a tax office, in a private college, and now at MLT, my present work place. I never planned for any of them, but as time goes by....I've become really attached to teaching.

Presently, I have 2 jobs. Well, both are still related to teaching. I am a teacher's coordinator, that's my full time job, and am a private lesson teacher, which I take as a side-job. It keeps my hands full to have these 2 jobs. I leave for work early in the morning and go back home in the evening. It's crazy to have 7 hectic days. Though it's very tiring, I used to feel okay it, especially considering the amount of money I got. However, I don't feel the same anymore.

A year ago, I thought my present work place would be my final destination and didn't think much of moving to another place. I said to myself, "this is the place. I belong here." I enjoyed teaching so much back then. I was really full of spirit, though I taught about 11 classes in a week. Everyone at school, my co-workers, and others would always find me smiling,I mean real smiles, the kind of smiles come out from my deepest heart.

Well, I still love teaching and still smile to everyone I meet at school, but I've been feeling that I sometimes do that simply for courtesy. At certain times, especially when I have to teach 6 classes in a row without getting enough time to rest my back and voice and take a deep breath, I realize that I don't give my best teaching performance and show my best health condition, not like I used to.

It's just crazy that this year, my 2nd year, I have 13 classes to teach, and not to mention my new responsibilities as a coordinator. Well, They give me this ridiculous workload because there's a schedule change made by the kindergarten unit, and they told me that they can't find a better candidate. Besides, I'm a full timer, so I should be ready for whatever things they want me to do. I never thought that things would be like this when I decided to sign the contract. They told me that I wouldn't teach as many classes as last year because I got a new position as a coordinator. Yeah right! I shouldn't have taken their words for granted.

Speaking frankly, I love the place where I work and some of the people I work with. The manager is actually fine and quite considerate, but I just hate myself sometimes that I am a dependable person. I often find it hard to say "no". I do realize that I'm engaged to the contract I've signed and I've got some responsibilities on my shoulders, but how unfair it is to be in my position, no matter how much they pay me. It's really stressing. I'm going crazy.

Gosh! I've never been such a complainer before. And now look what I've become!

Now, I doubt it that this is the place where I belong. I doubt that this is the job which I always thought when I was a teen, the one that makes me happy. I'm not that happy anymore. I'm not even sure myself that I will keep this job for another 3 or 4 years like the idea I used to put in mind. I've complained my manager about my crazy workload. He said sorry that he had put me in this condition, but he didn't have other choices.

Well, I believe he did have other choices, but you know...taking the easiest way with the least effort will always be most people's favourite.

Despite all the stress I've been feeling lately, luckily I still have my nice, sweet, weird, loud, smart, funny, crazy, and naughty students . They are a very important detail that binds me in this teaching job. If it neither because of them nor because I always love teaching, I might have quit last year.

Things may be changed, but I don't know. I shall see what they will offer me in my next renewal contract. And for the time being, I'll just hang on here and do my best. Besides, the knowledge and experience I've got are 2 priceless things I should put into my consideration for now.

Well, if people ask me now about my dream job, I'll probably answer, " I want a job that fits my skill, challenges me to improve myself, makes me happy, and of course gives me a good living."


Friday, March 04, 2005


Hold it!
Keep holding!
You can do it! I know you can.
You always can
You've been holding it for long
You just need to hold it for a while more
We can go to our heavenly heaven then
I know!
I'm trying here
Can't you see?
I'm working on it..with my last strength
Try harder!
You said you would always hold it
For the rest of your eternal life
You promised you would
Don't give it up!
I'm begging you
I'm on my knees

I said I'm trying!
Don't you see?
I'm holding it with my tortured small hands
.....................with my painful thin legs
.....................with my bleeding little heart
Hold it
Even just for another while
Don't let it fall
Just don't let it....

I won't let it
I don't want to
My hands are trembling hard
My legs are shaking badly
My heart is bleeding too much
I can't bear it
I can't hold it
I'm getting weaker
I'm all worn out
I'm torn apart
Let me rest
Let them rest
My poor trembling hands
My poor shaking legs
My poor bleeding heart
I'm falling
I'm vanishing
I can't
I just c-a-n-'t