Monday, December 25, 2006

It's all coming back now
A day of the past
A figure and a heart
A butterfly and a sparkling star

It was blinding
A night of remembrance
Sweet words and smiles
A warm squeeze and a light touch of lips

It was almost unreal
Unsaid feelings and promises
Just a hint
Just a gaze

Holiday! Finally!

Yay! Holiday time! Finally :)

I'm so happy that I finally get here after 3 weeks of stressful days. 
I'm just glad that I managed to get through the hardest time of the year. 
It's time to pamper myself and just do whatever I feel like to. These 9 days aren't gonna be spent in Bali like what I have planned,
but I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it. 

Home sweet home! That's what my holiday time gonna be. Carla is now home for Christmas and Jun is in town, too. So, I think I'll hang out with them sometime this week. I don't know what I'll do on New Year's eve as I haven't got any plans for it. I may end up staying home.... just watching TV, dining out with my 2 best friends, or getting together with my relatives to have a little New Year's celebration.

It's sad that i don't have my most important communication device, which is my beloved old cell-phone. It's been a week I haven't been able to contact anybody nor be contacted. I'm lost. All the important numbers are saved there. I should have written all those numbers in my organizer instead of 
depending too much on a cell-phone :(  Stupid thing, eh?

Well, I wish everybody a wonderful holiday time. HAPPY HOLIDAY!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

90 %

A lot of things have happened at work since the last time I blogged about the company, the manager, their promises, and my complaints. It's about 7.5 months to go to July 2nd, the day of my freedom. I'm counting days now.

I've told everybody at work, except my manager, about my leaving. I plan to tell him 3 months before the 'd' day as what the procedure requires. It's been a lot of stress and I can't work at a place that talks about quality much but do less to keep it. I do care about education and my students. It's been almost 4 years that I have this attached feeling, which means something for me. It was not money that I had on my top list when I accepted this job. Well, it is damn important but isn't everything. I was happy and proud that I'm part of the team, which really cares about good quality education. I could proudly talk about the program and else when people asked me about MLT, the institution I've been working for these 3.5 years. But now, I really can't do so as I don't feel the same anymore.

Some people that I know, minus my best friends, told me that it's stupid to give up the position I have now plus the promotion I'll get next year. In fact, I don't care about position nor promotion!

Well, despite all inconsistencies and else I've been complaining about, I still have to thank them for everything I've learnt these 3.5 years. I'll always remember all the fun and good things I had with everybody at work. But that's it! It's 90%.

I'm leaving :)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A baby to come

It's just so true that people may set whatever plans they want, but God decides everything.

When I was a child I imagined that someday I would see my sister and brother be married in a happy wedding party..where everybody would put their best smile and wish the happy newly-wed couple a great happiness. What a nice child's dream it was.

Now, I don't think I can see that happens to my troubled but beloved sister. It's sad, but what's done is done. There's no use of crying over spilt milk.

I may not be able to see my sis in either my or her wedding dream, but I will see the greatest creature in the universe to come...a baby.So, soon...I'm gonna be "auntie Rina". How does it sound? Still hard for me to believe as I've never imagined it would be this soon. However, it should be great.

It's just funny and weird at the same time. To be married in rush and have a baby in less than 6 months...gosh! I'm sure it was THAT striking for her when she found out that she's pregnant. Being married to a man who doesn't have the intention of marrying her is just like a disaster. At least, that's not what a woman expects in her life. Now I wish we lived in other countries that don't even bother other people's business!

Well, I don't know what future brings her, but I will always hope for the best for her. Let the past be past.I also hope she can be a good mother (with the assistance of our beloved mother, of course! hehehe).

No matter how many arguments we've had since we both were little girls, I love you SIS.

Sunday, July 16, 2006


It's been long since I last wrote here. A lot of things have happened, but I think I will post some stories about them later.

So, I know this girl who introduced herself online as sandra from UK. I didn't know who this girl was until she greeted me on yahoo messenger. When I first got her friend's request, I was surprised as females don't normally get request from the same sex. So, I was wondering how this girl got my e-mail address. Then, on the same time I finally decided to accept her request, I was checking all the e-mails I got. I happened to open some mails from a friend who sent me some pictures of places, people working, and scenery. I noticed that in all the "to" part, there was this same e-mail address that seemed like a person's name that was similar to this girl's name. I then assumed that she must be the friend of my friend.

So, one day when I was online, she said 'hi'. As a normal reaction I said 'hi' back to her as I was curious whether she was really my friend's friend. After some introduction of name and country, she started to tell me about business things. She mentioned that she had just inherited some money from her father and was thinking of investing it on something. She then asked me about what's good for investment in Indonesia then I told her what I knew.

Anyway, I asked her how she got my yahoo's address, but she didn't wanna tell me. I thought okay, that was her right, but I was just wondering what's hard about mentioning it. Well, she probably had her own reasons.

Out talk went further about her asking me to invest my money on the business she wanted to do.I was a bit shocked as I don't meet people like that often. I mean, you don't ask someone on internet you hardly know and even never meet in person to invest his or her money on your business. I tried to be nice by telling her that I didn't have the money for investment. Well, I was telling her the truth anyway. She then tried to convince me and wanted to give her bank account's number.

That's just pushy for me. I started not to like this person. I never like pushy people. However, I still tried to treat her properly till the end of the chat. It wasn't a long chat anyway as I had to go home.

And today, I saw an offline message from her telling me that I'm deceiving myself and that she doesn't need me. And what's so funny is she called me "you, someone from a terrorist country!" What the hell was that?!!

I guess I logged out of yahoo at almost the same time she logged in. Well, internet here can be so slow that messages are transferred lated. She must have thought that I didn't wanna talk to her or perhaps set myself invisible. Well, I sometimes do that 'invisible' setting when I don't wanna talk to people that I don't wish to talk to or perhaps when I'm busy doing some work things online. I've started doing that eversince some people on my list keep annoying me with their questions and other things eventhough I set my status "busy". Some of them even got angry when I told them that I would talk to them when I was not busy.

Well, I know I can't expect everybody to have a broader way of thinking, but it was just annoying to hear someone calls you 'a terrorist( implicitly, though)'.DARN! Did she ever go to school and learn about respecting other people and other cultures? I know that a lot of things have happened in this country...the bombings, the terrorist label that has been attached since the first bali's blast, the-one of the most corrupting countries in the world-label, and others. In other words, we don't really have a good reputation now. However, it's just so silly to generalize things like what she did. I think she really needs some brainwash.

It was just too bad. I was hoping she was someone nice inspite the pushy impression she gave me on our first chat. She's the friend of my good friend, so I thought she was a quite okay person. But, I think you never really know people, even those who are around you, don't you?

Friday, May 05, 2006

Weird world

I never really realized how this world and life could be so weird. I know it now that I just have to exeperience it myself.

It's been a long pause since I last posted something here. I've missed blogging so much and actually have had so many in my head which need to be expressed, but somehow it was hard for me to type. I'm not sure why. I'll figure it out later.

My best friend, Carla, has moved out to this small town in Middle Java called "Tegal". I always know her as a big traveller, but never really crossed my mind that she would ever work outside Surabaya though she had told me many times about working in another town or even another country. She moved out last week. I've given her a few calls ever since she moved out just to know how's everything in her new place. We won't hang out like we used to anymore, but this is just what she needs and perhaps what I need. We never know what life's planned for us, don't we?

It was just strange how things were before Carla left. This circle of friends...Carla-Me-Jun. I regret for what have happened, but can't turn back as life must go on. Now Jun and Carla don't talk to each other anymore. These two best friends of mine who have strong and controlling charateristic. I hate to see them like this, but nothing much for me to do as I've done my best. I hope time will help a bit, though they still need to talk about everything right face to face.

And there's this american guy named Dimitri who happen to know Carla and me....and finally Jun. So, the three of us know him. I don't know whether it's a guy thing or what. Or maybe it's just me who just have to know more guys to be able to understand more how they behave or think. He's actually quite a fun person. He's someone who's compatible enough if you wanna argue about quite various topics. However, after what have happened I can't value him as much as I did. I think that's because he started everything with a lie, at least that's how I see it. Then, there came a few more lies here and there. I treated him badly the last time I met him, which was an unexpected one. I know I shouldn't have treated him that way, but I just couldn't help it. For me, he somehow took part in making things worse between jun and carla. This is all just so silly and weird.

Above all, I found out another side of these two friends whom I care about. I won't say this side is bad or good as it's just a part of them. I will just try to understand and accept it. That's they way they are. It's not that easy to understand people, even those who are around you. Don't you think?

Things aren't that good with my personal life. But, I shall survive. I just hope someday when I look back, I know that I've done my best.

I have to move on. Everybody does.

I thought I knew

I thought I knew myself
I thought I knew her
I thought I knew him
I thought I knew them

I was wrong

I am more than her
She's more than me
She's more than us
We are more than him

She thought she knew her
He thought he knew me
They thought they knew me
We thought we knew her

We were wrong

In fact...
We never knew