Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I hate you, but I Love You

To the man who took part in bringing me to this planet,


I hate you...
for leaving me in a mud of misery
for ignoring my pains
for smiling at my failures
for missing my hurtful moments
for letting me grow
in a jungle full of beasts

I loathe you...
when you raise me up high
that I could almost touch the cloud with my bare hands
but then push me hard
and let me fall into deepest nothingness
when you flower my shinny sky with every colour on earth
but then sweep it all with the darkest colour I've never thought existed
and let me cry till my last tear-drop
when you show me the key to the place that trapping me
but then just stand there and see me with empty look

but when...
I catch a glimpse of your limb figure
I see helplessness in your two black eyes
I view deep scratches of life's claws on your aging face
I look at your indescribable yet unsaid pride for my shinning star
I notice a silly smile of yours that similar to mine
I watch the falling greyish strings on your head
I taste the salty reddish blood of yours that runs in mine

my heart aches
my heart beats
my tear drops
my ice melts

I hate you
I loathe you
but somehow....
I love you.

2 comments:

Telescopic_viewpoint said...

A very timeless example of how hate bleeds into love and vice versa.

I enjoyed the part where you speak of the flowers decorating the sky, and 'him' wiping them away.

Be pained, but love just the same.

RinAku said...

Thanks "T_V" ! There's only a thin line between hate and love. I thought it was only hate that I possessed. In fact, I hated much because I loved a lot.