She Called You a Father

I wish I knew why she called you a father


Probably because...

You got a part in your imaginative creation
You stood outside the plain white room with your cigar in your mouth
You held her fragile figure in your arms for a hint of time
You smiled sourly when she cried at her silent night

or because...

You missed her life's moments
then gave her your reasonably ridiculous excuses
You encouraged her in your plain heartless tone
You crowned her with the prettiest thorns in the universe
You glanced at her when she stumbled and fell

or it's because...

You laughed when river of tears ran down her hollow cheeks
You whistled at her pain and misery
You sat back and relaxed
...as her bloody figure gone stale


I wish I knew......

Poezie en Jazz - Denise Jannah & Band

Poetry and Jazz

Intro: The Surinam-born jazz singer Denise Jannah has lived for many years in the Netherlands. She studied singing at the Hilversum music academy. She frequently performs in the Netherlands and abroad, has won several awards, and has already recorded 7 CDs. On her latest CD, Gedichten Gezongen(2004), she brings Dutch, Surinam, South African, Antillean, and even Indonesian poetry. Her performance in Indonesia includes a selection of this work. Denise jannah will be accompanied by an ensemble with guitar, bass guitar, percussion drums, and piano.

I've never heard anything about Denise Jannah before. Last Sunday evening was the first time I knew and saw her performance. As usual, the YPKIB (the Indonesian-Dutch Education & Cultural Committe) sends me a notification of every concert they have here in Surabaya. So, I got it like 2 weeks ago. I usually go to all the events held by YPKIB with Carla, as she's the one who's taking a Dutch class there, but last time was different. Carla was in Jakarta for a Dutch singing Competition. So, I went with Valens instead.

I was 5 minutes late from the agreed time as I had to attend a family gathering to celebrate an aunt's b'day. Valens was already there, at Cak Durasim, when I arrived. But, I wasn't late for the show. So, we directly got into the building, signed our names on the guest's book, then entered the concert room. There weren't many people inside, unlike the previous concerts I've seen. Valens and I wondered why, but didn't discuss much about it. As soon as we were seated in the middle row, we started to talk about various things.

The concert started at 8 p.m, which was 30 minutes late from the show time written on the invitation. I told Valens that Denise and her band must have heard about how much Indonesians "appreciate" time that they are always late for everything :) Well, it's certainly not something to be proud of. I hope I'm not in that category :p

So, more and more people were coming as the concert started. All the lights, except the ones on the stage, were turned off. The MC gave an opening speech, and then asked us to give a big applause as Denise came on stage. She was wearing a loose big orange dress, which reminded me of Jamaican female singers. She looked quite different from the pic I saw on the invitation card. I think she's more beautiful in real. She looked friendly and kind, too.

The members of her band showed up not long after her. There were 3 men. They're Taco Nieuwenhuizen Segaar on contrabas, Bart Fermie on percussion, and Wolf Martini on guitar. After an opening speech from Denise and an introduction on her band members, she opened the show with a song called "Ra".

The concert was divided into 2 sessions. As song by song was sung, I liked her music more and more. She read some poems, told us the illustration of each song in Dutch and English, and made some jokes to live up the show. I loved the way she expressed herself and her moves when she was reading the poems. I would say she's very talented.

I'm still impressed on how she drove the audience mood. She mixes jazz with some other kinds of music, like samba, reggae, latin, pop, and ballad. Most of the songs she sang were in Dutch, which of course I don't understand. But, she always told us the story of each song, both in English and Dutch, so at least those who don't know Dutch would understand what it was all about. I liked and enjoyed all the songs much. I'm sure most of the people inside the building were too, for so many clapped their hands loudly almost everytime she finished a song...even some whistled. I also heard some people sitting near me commenting on what a great singer she is and how beautiful her voice is. I couldn't agree with them more.

The poems she read mostly talked about love and relationship, but she also highlighted nature, life, and people. Everything was just impressive. All her band members played well. I loved how Bart Fermie played all the instruments around him, Taco Nieuwenhuizen Segaar showed his skill, and Wolf Martini played his strings. They all made a perfect collaboration.

To me, Denise's concert is the best Dutch jazz musician I've ever seen. It's just totally amazing and cool. However, too bad that I didn't bring enough money to buy her CD, while in fact YPKIB rarely have a CD selling session after every concert they have held so far.

What a great Sunday evening! Valens drove me home in his car. I was very glad that I didn't have to waste money for taxi fare, hehehe.... Thanks Lens!

How am I supposed to feel?

How am I supposed to feel?

When you boast and praise yourself
tell me and him
that you’re the best in the universe
that you rule with your supreme power and fame
that the sun and moon are nothing
but the most of the most ordinary

When you raise up your head
high and higher....
tell me and her
that my hopeless life will be red, orange, and green
that her dead end road will be no longer black, grey, and dark
that my great knowledge of the earth, wind, and soil are none
but the most upper surface of the sea

When you sweetly promise and vow
so convincingly...
tell me and them...
that my long exhausting journey has come to an end
that their little nothing-selves will be something
...and someone...
that our humble-selves will be seated on diamond chairs
that our smart intelligent-selves are nobody
but stinky dust and ashes

Then...

I found out....
that you’re nobody but a big fat liar
that your boasts are none but dirty bubbles
that your vows are nothing but cheap meaningless words
that your pride is nothing but simply a cover of your rotten-self

you are just rubbish

your words....promises...vows...and self
are simply
rubbish!

The Wedding

Ian and Hera

Finally!!! After those hard times and tears, they're now together. Ian, one of my cousins, who always looks cool in his own style and way. He's finally reached one of his many wishes, that is to marry the love of his life, Hera, in a small but nice and warm ceremony.


Ian

I have always thought that they're meant for each other. They've known each other since they were still in high school. It's been almost 9 years, I suppose. They've been through a lot of hard times, even one of the hardest times in relationship, which I can't tell here. Although I don't really see him as the kind of person with a strong personality, I admire the things he's done to change his life and learn from his past failures. And somehow, I have a feeling that he's gonna be a better person as he's now a husband and a father of a 4-year-old cute baby boy. In time, he'll learn how to live a good life.


Hera

A beautiful nice friendly young woman whom I always admire for her humbleness. I've never met any pretty, nice, patient, and friendly daughter of a very rich family like her before. To me, she's got quality. She's not that kind of spoilt rich girl, who doesn't have goals and doesn't work hard to reach them. What a gem! I am happy that she survived one of many difficult times a young woman would ever experience in life. Salute! I believe she is now happy with her new small family, a husband and a great baby boy. I'm sure she'll be a good mother.


The wedding
Bali, September 18, 2005

It was held at Grand Bali Beach hotel, at Garden Wing, to be precise. I thought it was gonna be a big celebration, like there would be hundreds of people. In fact it wasn't. It was more like a private wedding celebration. Only families, relatives, and closest friends of both sides were invited. There was a lot of food, more than enough I think, especially for less than 150 people. The decoration was really nice, simple, but very elegant. There were flowers every where. It's nice to have two big families with different background and culture together in one place. They had the 'cin ciu' (I'm not sure how it's spelled) session and 'poco-poco' (traditional folk dance of Manadonese and Ambonese people). Everyone had fun, including me. It's great to have some 'poco-poco' and 'cha-cha' dance on stage with our big family.

I've never imagined what kind of wedding celebration I will have someday, but looking at everything at Ian & Hera's wedding, I know for sure that I want mine to be small, simple, pretty, and warm. It will be great to see everyone smiling warmly and laughing happily. Someday....my dream will come true.


Wishes

I sincerely wish all the happiness in the world for Ian & Hera. They do have a long way to go. Marriage is never a simple thing, at least that's what I've seen around me. But, there are always ways to make it work. Congratulations!