Well, it's my b'day today. Some people probably would have some kind of celebration with their beloved ones. Too bad, I don't. My son is at my mom's place as it's still weekday, while I have to work normally. Well, I sometimes feel that the price of welfare is too pricey.
However, something really touched me this morning. When my mom called to wish me happy b'day, she put my son on the cell-phone speaker. He said, " Is it your b'day, mom? Happy b'day, mom. Wish you health, fortune, and wisdom." Well, I know he was just repeating my aunt's words in the background, but hearing those words coming out of a 3-year old boy was really something. I couldn't
hold my tears. Even my hubby didn't tell me those things. I know deep in his heart he always wishes me all the best things, though.
Today, I'm reviewing everything that has happened in my life. Despite all the hardships and complications, I am grateful that God always gives me the strength to go through any life's obstacles. I am truly thankful for everything.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
1.5 years of motherhood
It's been such a long time since I last blogged that sometimes I forget that I actually do have a blog. Anyways, what a life it has been. It is just unpredictable. Some things are just even better than what I once thought while some others are more complicated. Still, I'm grateful that I can go through my every-day life as a working mother and a wife.
So, has it really been 1.5 years? Sometimes I feel that it was just yesterday when I delivered my super active little Maxi in that small hospital. Being a working mother is really a lot of work. There were some considerations before I finally signed myself in Embassy-my present work place, while keeping my private teaching job. On one hand, I didn't want to lose any moments of maxi's little actions. On the other hand, despite the need to get new challenges, I had to support the family financially.
Well, talking about motherhood, I am now used to having unsound sleep and backaches (hope it's not because I'm getting older :p) and taking anemia supplements every now and then, especially when I feel dizzy due to sleepless nights. Now I know why the word 'sacrifice' would best describe a mother.
Spending some time with maxi every morning before I leave for Embassy or private teaching is just priceless and irreplaceable. It's amazing to witness every single progress and growth of a baby. I do not have the time to read my fav novels anymore as by the time maxi is asleep, I have house chores to do or I am too tired and sleepy to even read the first few lines of the first page. Still, I will never replace my quality time with maxi with anything, even it's a week self-indulging trip to the best holiday spot :)
Well, what can I say? Maxi is now my world! [well, it doesn't mean that you're not part of my world too, hubby baby :)]
So, has it really been 1.5 years? Sometimes I feel that it was just yesterday when I delivered my super active little Maxi in that small hospital. Being a working mother is really a lot of work. There were some considerations before I finally signed myself in Embassy-my present work place, while keeping my private teaching job. On one hand, I didn't want to lose any moments of maxi's little actions. On the other hand, despite the need to get new challenges, I had to support the family financially.
Well, talking about motherhood, I am now used to having unsound sleep and backaches (hope it's not because I'm getting older :p) and taking anemia supplements every now and then, especially when I feel dizzy due to sleepless nights. Now I know why the word 'sacrifice' would best describe a mother.
Spending some time with maxi every morning before I leave for Embassy or private teaching is just priceless and irreplaceable. It's amazing to witness every single progress and growth of a baby. I do not have the time to read my fav novels anymore as by the time maxi is asleep, I have house chores to do or I am too tired and sleepy to even read the first few lines of the first page. Still, I will never replace my quality time with maxi with anything, even it's a week self-indulging trip to the best holiday spot :)
Well, what can I say? Maxi is now my world! [well, it doesn't mean that you're not part of my world too, hubby baby :)]
Friday, December 25, 2009
Not Mine
Is it a home?
It is....but not mine
It's his and hers
It's never mine
There's too much of the past
of old images and memories
There was first love and desire
There are new stories and chapters
Still....it's not a home
not mine...
Someday.....will be
A place of mine and my little one's
A place where this heart can linger and stay
Someday....
I believe
It is....but not mine
It's his and hers
It's never mine
There's too much of the past
of old images and memories
There was first love and desire
There are new stories and chapters
Still....it's not a home
not mine...
Someday.....will be
A place of mine and my little one's
A place where this heart can linger and stay
Someday....
I believe
Monday, November 16, 2009
Entering marriage life
It's the 2nd month of me being a wife. Till 8 months ago never I thought that I would be meeting someone that never crossed my imagination nor would I be married to him this soon. But, that's life....we never know what lies ahead. It felt like yesterday when it all started. Things happened so fast from dating to proposal, then to marriage and soon to be a mother.
This is something new for me. I'm sure most newly-weds would say the same thing. Me...someone who has been super independent, now is learning how to share a lot of things with someone else. Well, I'm not saying that I never share things with other people, it's just it's so different. It's not that easy to share some of your thoughts, especially private ones to somebody else, even your most loved one.
Just within two months, there are some major changes and a few big surprises. It takes a lot of considerations to make the best decisions. There are moments when I just wanna be selfish, but I'm no longer single again. I now have someone whom I'm sharing a life with. So, whatever happens...we just have to stick together and deal with it.
Despite the problems, I do enjoy being a married woman. I would say it's like a journey. It's exciting, surprising, unpredictable, emotional sometimes (or is it just me being sensitive pregnant woman :p), and.... Well, it's just undescribable :) Indeed!
This is something new for me. I'm sure most newly-weds would say the same thing. Me...someone who has been super independent, now is learning how to share a lot of things with someone else. Well, I'm not saying that I never share things with other people, it's just it's so different. It's not that easy to share some of your thoughts, especially private ones to somebody else, even your most loved one.
Just within two months, there are some major changes and a few big surprises. It takes a lot of considerations to make the best decisions. There are moments when I just wanna be selfish, but I'm no longer single again. I now have someone whom I'm sharing a life with. So, whatever happens...we just have to stick together and deal with it.
Despite the problems, I do enjoy being a married woman. I would say it's like a journey. It's exciting, surprising, unpredictable, emotional sometimes (or is it just me being sensitive pregnant woman :p), and.... Well, it's just undescribable :) Indeed!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Hope & Fear
Feeling it....
gives me hope
lifts my feet a bit off the ground
adds a little green and yellow to my grey days
makes me alive
Feeling it....
gives me fear
of uncertainty and heartbreak
gives me doubts
of tomorrow and the day after
gives me pain
of haunting past and old story
I wanna believe it
............... lean on it
................ keep it
and breathe it
God help me........
gives me hope
lifts my feet a bit off the ground
adds a little green and yellow to my grey days
makes me alive
Feeling it....
gives me fear
of uncertainty and heartbreak
gives me doubts
of tomorrow and the day after
gives me pain
of haunting past and old story
I wanna believe it
............... lean on it
................ keep it
and breathe it
God help me........
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Ambition
Mrs. Wee : Ms, Stacey failed in her semi-final. I thought you
had given her similar exercises that I asked you for the competition.
Me : I did give her a lot of exercises that were similar like you showed me.had given her similar exercises that I asked you for the competition.
In fact, those exercises covered higher level of structure, grammar,
and vocabulary.
Mrs. Wee : Then how come she failed in the semi-final?
Me : Well, the thing is we only had two meetings for the preparation,
so it was impossible to do and discuss all the exercises. She had to
study by herself and study all the notes I left her.
Mrs. Wee : (shouting) Did you hear that Stacey?
You told me you had studied everything!
You should have prepared yourself better! You didn't try
hard enough that you failed in the competition!
Stacey : It wasn't as simple as that, mom!!!
Besides, why are you making it such a big deal?!
I've done my best!
Mrs. Wee : (with her angry face) Ms, Stacey is much smarter than
Clarissa (stacey's cousin), isn't she?
I believe she's in a higher level than her. Clarissa can't be better than
my daugther!
Me : (speechless and not sure what to say) Well, Clarissa did much
for last year's singapore's scholarship program.......
Mrs. Wee : But she can't be better than Stacey, can she? That can't be possible!
What a day! That's a part of a quite uncomfortable situation with the mother of a private student a few days ago. In order not to keep it long, I finally said that Stacey was smarter and better than Clarissa. There was no point(not that time) of telling her that in fact Clarissa is better than her daughter, that her daughter often forgets many things I've explained in our previous meetings, and that she's not willing to try for the scholarship test(she asked me not to tell her mom this one thing).
Not long after that, Stacey shouted at her mom, "Why are you always comparing me with everyone?! I'm tired of being compared! I'm depressed!I've done my best"
Luckily it was time to end her lesson but not time yet for me to leave. It was her little brother's turn next. I thought Mrs. Wee would be wise enough to wait until I left their house to shout more and express her disappointments towards her daughter. In fact, I heard more shouts coming from her room and followed by Stacey's weep.
I felt so uncomfortable and angry. How could she be so heartless and pushy. She wants her daughter to be the winner in every competition. Fine, losing is disappointing but not something to be excessively shameful of. Hasn't she failed at least once in her life? Is getting top scores in every subject a guarantee for a better future? Parents....can be so.......Gosh!!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Birthday
Monday, November 3, 2008 -- Today is mom's birthday. We're having family dinner. Some very close relatives are coming, too. Like our typical manadonese b'day dinner, there's always super hot & spicy food. We even have mango and chocolate pudding for dessert. The only thing that we don't have this time is a birthday cake. Mom said it's a waste of money when we already have much food served on the table. That's my mom! :) She would prefer spending the money for daily needs to something like a birthday cake on her birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!
What a morning!
I'm back to Surabaya again. I was planning to call in sick (though i'm not), but I'm 'too' responsible to do it. I'm feeling exhausted and sleepy after a long trip back from Bali to Surabaya. What's ironic is my manager texted me when I just got in and put my bags. He asked me to handle his classes 2day while I actually have my own. Great!!! "I've got to meet somebody at another school unit," he said. He could've chosen another day. He knows that we're out of teachers, but he's doing it again. Yeah right! What a perfect way to start a long work day.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Moving in
Finally, tomorrow is gonna be the time 2 move in! It's gonna be a busy sunday as we're moving the electronic appliances and other things like the books i need for private teaching and else from my old place to the new one.As much as the excitement I feel 4 a bigger house with a better neighborhood & facilities, I hate the moving. It takes weeks for me to pack and unpack. Phew! However, I'm happy 2 have a change,especially after some unpleasant experiences I've had.A new place means a new hope, a new & better life, and hopefully, a new boyfriend :p
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Moving on
Finally.....
I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, but I'm relieved that it's finally over. I've known it for long that it's going nowhere. Someone once called me a 'keeper'. Now that I look back and see everything that has happened, I think I am a keeper. It's just I probably often keep things that aren't worth-keeping.
Despite my nature of being a considerate person, I have to learn not to always consider too many things when making decisions.
Well, life is full of surprises and things happen for a reason. So, this must be time to really open my eyes and see in a better perspective. It's been 8 years of various feelings and happenings. I probably have wasted those years for nothing, but it was the choice that I made. I've learned some of this and that, so it's not a complete waste of time after all.
Tomorrow should be a better start ( I plan to spend my day sleeping, though :p ). It's time to move on :)
I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, but I'm relieved that it's finally over. I've known it for long that it's going nowhere. Someone once called me a 'keeper'. Now that I look back and see everything that has happened, I think I am a keeper. It's just I probably often keep things that aren't worth-keeping.
Despite my nature of being a considerate person, I have to learn not to always consider too many things when making decisions.
Well, life is full of surprises and things happen for a reason. So, this must be time to really open my eyes and see in a better perspective. It's been 8 years of various feelings and happenings. I probably have wasted those years for nothing, but it was the choice that I made. I've learned some of this and that, so it's not a complete waste of time after all.
Tomorrow should be a better start ( I plan to spend my day sleeping, though :p ). It's time to move on :)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Another year
It's another year.....
to think
to reconsider
to clean up the mess
to learn
to heal
and in the end....
to be free.
to think
to reconsider
to clean up the mess
to learn
to heal
and in the end....
to be free.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Happy New Year
December has always been one of the few months I've always looked forward to these past 5 years. It's at the same time the busiest and craziest month of the year (especially the first 2 weeks of it). Still, it's worth waiting.
There have been a lot of things going on this year. Now that the end of the year is approaching, I begin to think of what I should do better next year. So many things didn't go well but I think I did what I could. Despite all the problems and disappointments in friendship and future plans, I'm grateful of the blessings I've got this year. It's not always easy to be grateful when you are to deal with more and more problems. I now see a lot of things from different angles. Hopefully, I can be a better me next year.
It's good that I can slow down and relax some after crazy months of work, work and work!!! No particular plans for this holiday nor people to spend time with. But, it's sometimes best to have nothing particular to do as it gives you chance to do just whatever you feel like doing.
Well, I believe there will be so many things to do and dreams to fulfill in the coming new year, so I wish every one HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS,too ! ^_+
There have been a lot of things going on this year. Now that the end of the year is approaching, I begin to think of what I should do better next year. So many things didn't go well but I think I did what I could. Despite all the problems and disappointments in friendship and future plans, I'm grateful of the blessings I've got this year. It's not always easy to be grateful when you are to deal with more and more problems. I now see a lot of things from different angles. Hopefully, I can be a better me next year.
It's good that I can slow down and relax some after crazy months of work, work and work!!! No particular plans for this holiday nor people to spend time with. But, it's sometimes best to have nothing particular to do as it gives you chance to do just whatever you feel like doing.
Well, I believe there will be so many things to do and dreams to fulfill in the coming new year, so I wish every one HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS,too ! ^_+
Sunday, October 14, 2007
A wrong decision?
It's been almost a month since I got back working full-time at MLT again. So many things have gone wrong. I see how messy things are at the company now. Losing 2 of their best full-time workers and me being almost 3 months off-work seem to make everyone, especially the manager overwhelmed.
My first 1.5 weeks back to work was quite a disappointment. They cut my salary without confirming it with me. They claimed that I still owed them some money on the loan I took last year. I was like 'what the hell is this?' I remember that the loan thing was done right when I finished my previous contract. It's just crazy. After some arguments with the manager that made me find out how bad their administration system is, I finally got my money back.
Then, just a week ago, when Pak Win (the manager) called me to give me my "Hari Raya" bonus, I was shocked that they cut it as much as Rp 700,000 with a ridiculous reason.
"Ms.Rina, the board of directors have considered that it would be reasonable to cut 1/3 of your yearly bonus as you didn't work for us for 3 months.''
DAMN them!!!
For God's sake! I wasn't paid either. And it was them who BEGGED me to stay when I told them I wouldn't sign a renewal contract. It was them who offered me a few months off instead of letting me go. GOSH!
Now that I know their true self, I will not do more than what I have to. I've always given people a second chance. They've got their 3rd chance, but I know now that they didn't deserve it. I don't want to regret the decision I've made, for I don't have time for it. I'll just think about my small dream house.
My house :)
My first 1.5 weeks back to work was quite a disappointment. They cut my salary without confirming it with me. They claimed that I still owed them some money on the loan I took last year. I was like 'what the hell is this?' I remember that the loan thing was done right when I finished my previous contract. It's just crazy. After some arguments with the manager that made me find out how bad their administration system is, I finally got my money back.
Then, just a week ago, when Pak Win (the manager) called me to give me my "Hari Raya" bonus, I was shocked that they cut it as much as Rp 700,000 with a ridiculous reason.
"Ms.Rina, the board of directors have considered that it would be reasonable to cut 1/3 of your yearly bonus as you didn't work for us for 3 months.''
DAMN them!!!
For God's sake! I wasn't paid either. And it was them who BEGGED me to stay when I told them I wouldn't sign a renewal contract. It was them who offered me a few months off instead of letting me go. GOSH!
Now that I know their true self, I will not do more than what I have to. I've always given people a second chance. They've got their 3rd chance, but I know now that they didn't deserve it. I don't want to regret the decision I've made, for I don't have time for it. I'll just think about my small dream house.
My house :)
After a long time.....
Weird....disappointed....heartbroken....greatful...
There have been so many feelings, especially since I decided to take a break from my full-time job. It was supposed to be a 'holidaying' time, just like I had planned long before I thought of quitting my job at MLT. It was planned to be a 3-month of self-indulgence.
In fact, it wasn't.
My big trip to Singapore & Malaysia had to be cancelled even though I had bought the online tickets like months before. It was indeed a big disappointment.
Then there was a smaller plan of spending a few days in Bali. At first I wanted to go by myself and just relax while enjoying anything Bali always has to offer. But, Carla came up with the idea of going together as it has been a long time since we last went on a trip together. I thought it would be a great thing. I then adjusted my private teaching schedule with her few months' break from EF. As time flew by and the day of the trip approaching, plans were just plans. I ended up staying in Surabaya and Carla flew to Lombok instead of Bali to meet her British guy. Luckily, I hadn't bought any tickets as I had had a feeling that she would call off the Bali trip. I was right. I was disappointed but had to deal with my own disappointments as it wasn't my right to interfere her life, in this case her love life, no matter how long we've been best friends. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness, including her.
Next, it was a re-plan. Bali was still my destination. This time it was with Mariza, an old friend of mine from university. Surprisingly, ( I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was indeed) she gave me her doubts just a day before I called the agent. I could have gone to Bali just like I had wanted, but I had lost my mood.
With some family problems I had to deal and other things in my mind, I couldn't handle more disappointments.
Now that I look back and think about everything, I realize that no matter how good you've been friends with somebody, in the end it's the family who will always be there for you. It's weird. It has never crossed my mind that I would ever feel or think like this. There is always a first time, I believe.
Experiencing how someone can be so close with you during hard times but put you aside during good times is a new thing for me. People can just dump you, look for you when they need you, and dump you again. So, it's strange to be feeling this way.
Perhaps it's just time for everyone to pursue their own dreams.
For me, it's now time to really think about the future. First thing in line is buying my own house. I've never really felt like 'home' whenever I come home. It's been so many years of moving from one place to another place. So, it should be time now to take it to a serious level. I don't know what future will bring. I might marry someone from another city or even another country that requires me to move. However, a house will never be a waste of money. It's a good investment after all.
I always tell the people that I know that life is a choice. I know I don't always make the right choice, but I'll deal with the consequences. Moreover, I now see friendship from a different perspective. I still value it much as I don't think I can live without my friends. Friends are friends. They will always be.
There have been so many feelings, especially since I decided to take a break from my full-time job. It was supposed to be a 'holidaying' time, just like I had planned long before I thought of quitting my job at MLT. It was planned to be a 3-month of self-indulgence.
In fact, it wasn't.
My big trip to Singapore & Malaysia had to be cancelled even though I had bought the online tickets like months before. It was indeed a big disappointment.
Then there was a smaller plan of spending a few days in Bali. At first I wanted to go by myself and just relax while enjoying anything Bali always has to offer. But, Carla came up with the idea of going together as it has been a long time since we last went on a trip together. I thought it would be a great thing. I then adjusted my private teaching schedule with her few months' break from EF. As time flew by and the day of the trip approaching, plans were just plans. I ended up staying in Surabaya and Carla flew to Lombok instead of Bali to meet her British guy. Luckily, I hadn't bought any tickets as I had had a feeling that she would call off the Bali trip. I was right. I was disappointed but had to deal with my own disappointments as it wasn't my right to interfere her life, in this case her love life, no matter how long we've been best friends. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness, including her.
Next, it was a re-plan. Bali was still my destination. This time it was with Mariza, an old friend of mine from university. Surprisingly, ( I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was indeed) she gave me her doubts just a day before I called the agent. I could have gone to Bali just like I had wanted, but I had lost my mood.
With some family problems I had to deal and other things in my mind, I couldn't handle more disappointments.
Now that I look back and think about everything, I realize that no matter how good you've been friends with somebody, in the end it's the family who will always be there for you. It's weird. It has never crossed my mind that I would ever feel or think like this. There is always a first time, I believe.
Experiencing how someone can be so close with you during hard times but put you aside during good times is a new thing for me. People can just dump you, look for you when they need you, and dump you again. So, it's strange to be feeling this way.
Perhaps it's just time for everyone to pursue their own dreams.
For me, it's now time to really think about the future. First thing in line is buying my own house. I've never really felt like 'home' whenever I come home. It's been so many years of moving from one place to another place. So, it should be time now to take it to a serious level. I don't know what future will bring. I might marry someone from another city or even another country that requires me to move. However, a house will never be a waste of money. It's a good investment after all.
I always tell the people that I know that life is a choice. I know I don't always make the right choice, but I'll deal with the consequences. Moreover, I now see friendship from a different perspective. I still value it much as I don't think I can live without my friends. Friends are friends. They will always be.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Holiday! Finally!
Yay! Holiday time! Finally :)
I'm so happy that I finally get here after 3 weeks of stressful days.
I'm just glad that I managed to get through the hardest time of the year.
It's time to pamper myself and just do whatever I feel like to. These 9 days aren't gonna be spent in Bali like what I have planned,
but I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it.
depending too much on a cell-phone :( Stupid thing, eh?
Well, I wish everybody a wonderful holiday time. HAPPY HOLIDAY!
I'm so happy that I finally get here after 3 weeks of stressful days.
I'm just glad that I managed to get through the hardest time of the year.
It's time to pamper myself and just do whatever I feel like to. These 9 days aren't gonna be spent in Bali like what I have planned,
but I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it.
Home sweet home! That's what my holiday time gonna be. Carla is now home for Christmas and Jun is in town, too. So, I think I'll hang out with them sometime this week. I don't know what I'll do on New Year's eve as I haven't got any plans for it. I may end up staying home.... just watching TV, dining out with my 2 best friends, or getting together with my relatives to have a little New Year's celebration.
It's sad that i don't have my most important communication device, which is my beloved old cell-phone. It's been a week I haven't been able to contact anybody nor be contacted. I'm lost. All the important numbers are saved there. I should have written all those numbers in my organizer instead of depending too much on a cell-phone :( Stupid thing, eh?
Well, I wish everybody a wonderful holiday time. HAPPY HOLIDAY!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
90 %
A lot of things have happened at work since the last time I blogged about the company, the manager, their promises, and my complaints. It's about 7.5 months to go to July 2nd, the day of my freedom. I'm counting days now.
I've told everybody at work, except my manager, about my leaving. I plan to tell him 3 months before the 'd' day as what the procedure requires. It's been a lot of stress and I can't work at a place that talks about quality much but do less to keep it. I do care about education and my students. It's been almost 4 years that I have this attached feeling, which means something for me. It was not money that I had on my top list when I accepted this job. Well, it is damn important but isn't everything. I was happy and proud that I'm part of the team, which really cares about good quality education. I could proudly talk about the program and else when people asked me about MLT, the institution I've been working for these 3.5 years. But now, I really can't do so as I don't feel the same anymore.
Some people that I know, minus my best friends, told me that it's stupid to give up the position I have now plus the promotion I'll get next year. In fact, I don't care about position nor promotion!
Well, despite all inconsistencies and else I've been complaining about, I still have to thank them for everything I've learnt these 3.5 years. I'll always remember all the fun and good things I had with everybody at work. But that's it! It's 90%.
I'm leaving :)
I've told everybody at work, except my manager, about my leaving. I plan to tell him 3 months before the 'd' day as what the procedure requires. It's been a lot of stress and I can't work at a place that talks about quality much but do less to keep it. I do care about education and my students. It's been almost 4 years that I have this attached feeling, which means something for me. It was not money that I had on my top list when I accepted this job. Well, it is damn important but isn't everything. I was happy and proud that I'm part of the team, which really cares about good quality education. I could proudly talk about the program and else when people asked me about MLT, the institution I've been working for these 3.5 years. But now, I really can't do so as I don't feel the same anymore.
Some people that I know, minus my best friends, told me that it's stupid to give up the position I have now plus the promotion I'll get next year. In fact, I don't care about position nor promotion!
Well, despite all inconsistencies and else I've been complaining about, I still have to thank them for everything I've learnt these 3.5 years. I'll always remember all the fun and good things I had with everybody at work. But that's it! It's 90%.
I'm leaving :)
Sunday, August 13, 2006
A baby to come
It's just so true that people may set whatever plans they want, but God decides everything.
When I was a child I imagined that someday I would see my sister and brother be married in a happy wedding party..where everybody would put their best smile and wish the happy newly-wed couple a great happiness. What a nice child's dream it was.
Now, I don't think I can see that happens to my troubled but beloved sister. It's sad, but what's done is done. There's no use of crying over spilt milk.
I may not be able to see my sis in either my or her wedding dream, but I will see the greatest creature in the universe to come...a baby.So, soon...I'm gonna be "auntie Rina". How does it sound? Still hard for me to believe as I've never imagined it would be this soon. However, it should be great.
It's just funny and weird at the same time. To be married in rush and have a baby in less than 6 months...gosh! I'm sure it was THAT striking for her when she found out that she's pregnant. Being married to a man who doesn't have the intention of marrying her is just like a disaster. At least, that's not what a woman expects in her life. Now I wish we lived in other countries that don't even bother other people's business!
Well, I don't know what future brings her, but I will always hope for the best for her. Let the past be past.I also hope she can be a good mother (with the assistance of our beloved mother, of course! hehehe).
No matter how many arguments we've had since we both were little girls, I love you SIS.
When I was a child I imagined that someday I would see my sister and brother be married in a happy wedding party..where everybody would put their best smile and wish the happy newly-wed couple a great happiness. What a nice child's dream it was.
Now, I don't think I can see that happens to my troubled but beloved sister. It's sad, but what's done is done. There's no use of crying over spilt milk.
I may not be able to see my sis in either my or her wedding dream, but I will see the greatest creature in the universe to come...a baby.So, soon...I'm gonna be "auntie Rina". How does it sound? Still hard for me to believe as I've never imagined it would be this soon. However, it should be great.
It's just funny and weird at the same time. To be married in rush and have a baby in less than 6 months...gosh! I'm sure it was THAT striking for her when she found out that she's pregnant. Being married to a man who doesn't have the intention of marrying her is just like a disaster. At least, that's not what a woman expects in her life. Now I wish we lived in other countries that don't even bother other people's business!
Well, I don't know what future brings her, but I will always hope for the best for her. Let the past be past.I also hope she can be a good mother (with the assistance of our beloved mother, of course! hehehe).
No matter how many arguments we've had since we both were little girls, I love you SIS.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Narrow-minded
It's been long since I last wrote here. A lot of things have happened, but I think I will post some stories about them later.
So, I know this girl who introduced herself online as sandra from UK. I didn't know who this girl was until she greeted me on yahoo messenger. When I first got her friend's request, I was surprised as females don't normally get request from the same sex. So, I was wondering how this girl got my e-mail address. Then, on the same time I finally decided to accept her request, I was checking all the e-mails I got. I happened to open some mails from a friend who sent me some pictures of places, people working, and scenery. I noticed that in all the "to" part, there was this same e-mail address that seemed like a person's name that was similar to this girl's name. I then assumed that she must be the friend of my friend.
So, one day when I was online, she said 'hi'. As a normal reaction I said 'hi' back to her as I was curious whether she was really my friend's friend. After some introduction of name and country, she started to tell me about business things. She mentioned that she had just inherited some money from her father and was thinking of investing it on something. She then asked me about what's good for investment in Indonesia then I told her what I knew.
Anyway, I asked her how she got my yahoo's address, but she didn't wanna tell me. I thought okay, that was her right, but I was just wondering what's hard about mentioning it. Well, she probably had her own reasons.
Out talk went further about her asking me to invest my money on the business she wanted to do.I was a bit shocked as I don't meet people like that often. I mean, you don't ask someone on internet you hardly know and even never meet in person to invest his or her money on your business. I tried to be nice by telling her that I didn't have the money for investment. Well, I was telling her the truth anyway. She then tried to convince me and wanted to give her bank account's number.
That's just pushy for me. I started not to like this person. I never like pushy people. However, I still tried to treat her properly till the end of the chat. It wasn't a long chat anyway as I had to go home.
And today, I saw an offline message from her telling me that I'm deceiving myself and that she doesn't need me. And what's so funny is she called me "you, someone from a terrorist country!" What the hell was that?!!
I guess I logged out of yahoo at almost the same time she logged in. Well, internet here can be so slow that messages are transferred lated. She must have thought that I didn't wanna talk to her or perhaps set myself invisible. Well, I sometimes do that 'invisible' setting when I don't wanna talk to people that I don't wish to talk to or perhaps when I'm busy doing some work things online. I've started doing that eversince some people on my list keep annoying me with their questions and other things eventhough I set my status "busy". Some of them even got angry when I told them that I would talk to them when I was not busy.
Well, I know I can't expect everybody to have a broader way of thinking, but it was just annoying to hear someone calls you 'a terrorist( implicitly, though)'.DARN! Did she ever go to school and learn about respecting other people and other cultures? I know that a lot of things have happened in this country...the bombings, the terrorist label that has been attached since the first bali's blast, the-one of the most corrupting countries in the world-label, and others. In other words, we don't really have a good reputation now. However, it's just so silly to generalize things like what she did. I think she really needs some brainwash.
It was just too bad. I was hoping she was someone nice inspite the pushy impression she gave me on our first chat. She's the friend of my good friend, so I thought she was a quite okay person. But, I think you never really know people, even those who are around you, don't you?
So, I know this girl who introduced herself online as sandra from UK. I didn't know who this girl was until she greeted me on yahoo messenger. When I first got her friend's request, I was surprised as females don't normally get request from the same sex. So, I was wondering how this girl got my e-mail address. Then, on the same time I finally decided to accept her request, I was checking all the e-mails I got. I happened to open some mails from a friend who sent me some pictures of places, people working, and scenery. I noticed that in all the "to" part, there was this same e-mail address that seemed like a person's name that was similar to this girl's name. I then assumed that she must be the friend of my friend.
So, one day when I was online, she said 'hi'. As a normal reaction I said 'hi' back to her as I was curious whether she was really my friend's friend. After some introduction of name and country, she started to tell me about business things. She mentioned that she had just inherited some money from her father and was thinking of investing it on something. She then asked me about what's good for investment in Indonesia then I told her what I knew.
Anyway, I asked her how she got my yahoo's address, but she didn't wanna tell me. I thought okay, that was her right, but I was just wondering what's hard about mentioning it. Well, she probably had her own reasons.
Out talk went further about her asking me to invest my money on the business she wanted to do.I was a bit shocked as I don't meet people like that often. I mean, you don't ask someone on internet you hardly know and even never meet in person to invest his or her money on your business. I tried to be nice by telling her that I didn't have the money for investment. Well, I was telling her the truth anyway. She then tried to convince me and wanted to give her bank account's number.
That's just pushy for me. I started not to like this person. I never like pushy people. However, I still tried to treat her properly till the end of the chat. It wasn't a long chat anyway as I had to go home.
And today, I saw an offline message from her telling me that I'm deceiving myself and that she doesn't need me. And what's so funny is she called me "you, someone from a terrorist country!" What the hell was that?!!
I guess I logged out of yahoo at almost the same time she logged in. Well, internet here can be so slow that messages are transferred lated. She must have thought that I didn't wanna talk to her or perhaps set myself invisible. Well, I sometimes do that 'invisible' setting when I don't wanna talk to people that I don't wish to talk to or perhaps when I'm busy doing some work things online. I've started doing that eversince some people on my list keep annoying me with their questions and other things eventhough I set my status "busy". Some of them even got angry when I told them that I would talk to them when I was not busy.
Well, I know I can't expect everybody to have a broader way of thinking, but it was just annoying to hear someone calls you 'a terrorist( implicitly, though)'.DARN! Did she ever go to school and learn about respecting other people and other cultures? I know that a lot of things have happened in this country...the bombings, the terrorist label that has been attached since the first bali's blast, the-one of the most corrupting countries in the world-label, and others. In other words, we don't really have a good reputation now. However, it's just so silly to generalize things like what she did. I think she really needs some brainwash.
It was just too bad. I was hoping she was someone nice inspite the pushy impression she gave me on our first chat. She's the friend of my good friend, so I thought she was a quite okay person. But, I think you never really know people, even those who are around you, don't you?
Friday, May 05, 2006
Weird world
I never really realized how this world and life could be so weird. I know it now that I just have to exeperience it myself.
It's been a long pause since I last posted something here. I've missed blogging so much and actually have had so many in my head which need to be expressed, but somehow it was hard for me to type. I'm not sure why. I'll figure it out later.
My best friend, Carla, has moved out to this small town in Middle Java called "Tegal". I always know her as a big traveller, but never really crossed my mind that she would ever work outside Surabaya though she had told me many times about working in another town or even another country. She moved out last week. I've given her a few calls ever since she moved out just to know how's everything in her new place. We won't hang out like we used to anymore, but this is just what she needs and perhaps what I need. We never know what life's planned for us, don't we?
It was just strange how things were before Carla left. This circle of friends...Carla-Me-Jun. I regret for what have happened, but can't turn back as life must go on. Now Jun and Carla don't talk to each other anymore. These two best friends of mine who have strong and controlling charateristic. I hate to see them like this, but nothing much for me to do as I've done my best. I hope time will help a bit, though they still need to talk about everything right face to face.
And there's this american guy named Dimitri who happen to know Carla and me....and finally Jun. So, the three of us know him. I don't know whether it's a guy thing or what. Or maybe it's just me who just have to know more guys to be able to understand more how they behave or think. He's actually quite a fun person. He's someone who's compatible enough if you wanna argue about quite various topics. However, after what have happened I can't value him as much as I did. I think that's because he started everything with a lie, at least that's how I see it. Then, there came a few more lies here and there. I treated him badly the last time I met him, which was an unexpected one. I know I shouldn't have treated him that way, but I just couldn't help it. For me, he somehow took part in making things worse between jun and carla. This is all just so silly and weird.
Above all, I found out another side of these two friends whom I care about. I won't say this side is bad or good as it's just a part of them. I will just try to understand and accept it. That's they way they are. It's not that easy to understand people, even those who are around you. Don't you think?
Things aren't that good with my personal life. But, I shall survive. I just hope someday when I look back, I know that I've done my best.
I have to move on. Everybody does.
It's been a long pause since I last posted something here. I've missed blogging so much and actually have had so many in my head which need to be expressed, but somehow it was hard for me to type. I'm not sure why. I'll figure it out later.
My best friend, Carla, has moved out to this small town in Middle Java called "Tegal". I always know her as a big traveller, but never really crossed my mind that she would ever work outside Surabaya though she had told me many times about working in another town or even another country. She moved out last week. I've given her a few calls ever since she moved out just to know how's everything in her new place. We won't hang out like we used to anymore, but this is just what she needs and perhaps what I need. We never know what life's planned for us, don't we?
It was just strange how things were before Carla left. This circle of friends...Carla-Me-Jun. I regret for what have happened, but can't turn back as life must go on. Now Jun and Carla don't talk to each other anymore. These two best friends of mine who have strong and controlling charateristic. I hate to see them like this, but nothing much for me to do as I've done my best. I hope time will help a bit, though they still need to talk about everything right face to face.
And there's this american guy named Dimitri who happen to know Carla and me....and finally Jun. So, the three of us know him. I don't know whether it's a guy thing or what. Or maybe it's just me who just have to know more guys to be able to understand more how they behave or think. He's actually quite a fun person. He's someone who's compatible enough if you wanna argue about quite various topics. However, after what have happened I can't value him as much as I did. I think that's because he started everything with a lie, at least that's how I see it. Then, there came a few more lies here and there. I treated him badly the last time I met him, which was an unexpected one. I know I shouldn't have treated him that way, but I just couldn't help it. For me, he somehow took part in making things worse between jun and carla. This is all just so silly and weird.
Above all, I found out another side of these two friends whom I care about. I won't say this side is bad or good as it's just a part of them. I will just try to understand and accept it. That's they way they are. It's not that easy to understand people, even those who are around you. Don't you think?
Things aren't that good with my personal life. But, I shall survive. I just hope someday when I look back, I know that I've done my best.
I have to move on. Everybody does.
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